The Zen of a Hot Shower November 9, 2007
Posted by merujo in back pain, crankiness, nothing beats a good shower, sensual stuff, weather, zen.1 comment so far
Foot massages, steamy sex, a pile of money… yeah, sure, that all sounds fabulous, but all I crave tonight is something I cannot have.*
A hot shower.
Seriously, for my money (little though that be) there are days when a hot shower cannot be beaten on the list of Great Sensual Experiences. When you are tired and aching, when the world has done you wrong, maaaan, a good steaming shower – with some bad-ass water pressure – is the best thang evah.
And, dear lord, I want a shower like nobody’s business right now. Today has been damp, drizzly, wet-cold, blah, and it’s kicking my messed up back like a junk yard dog. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I reheated my rice packs and my Ohio clay, NASA spin-off heat wrap and layered them on my body to find a little comfort. The Aaaaah Factor would last for an hour at a time before I did the hunched over Yoda shuffle back to the microwave to start the heating ritual over again.
All afternoon, I kept thinking, “Hot shower and jammies… hot shower and jammies…” I was also thinking about doing a quick load of laundry and some dishes, too, having a need for Vitally Important Clean Stuff (aka “undies”) for tomorrow and something to cook dinner in tonight. I was without a sink or dish washer for a few days, thanks to a sudden spouting of water from the kitchen faucet and the ensuing flood of said kitchen’s floor, leading to a sudden lack of clean utensils/bowls/you name it. Yeesh.
Apparently, the old faucet had to be hacksawed off the sink by building maintenance, so rusted were the bolts holding it on. I wish I’d been home to witness that particular maneuver. The maintenance guy was so amazed by how much effort it took him to fix this, he left me a magnum opus written on the door hangtag that usually just reads “Maintenance has been in your unit.” HA. He wrote so much about the hacksaw extravaganza, he actually had to flip it over to the other side to continue. I guess I owe him some cookies.
So, there I was tonight, ready for the good old Shower Massage to work its magic on my cracked back. Driving the last few blocks home, that was all I could think of.
And then, I saw the light.
Well, lights, actually. Lots of them. And safety cones. And backhoes.
And I realized that there was a really big pipe break just at the corner of my block.
Dammit!
Water was rushing everywhere, and WSSC guys milled in the rapidly chilling, dark, rainy evening. When I limped up to the door of my building, I could see a pile of notices from management on the message board. I went through the day’s sequence to see what had happened:
1. A pipe is broken. WSSC has had to shut off the cold water to your street.
Then…
2. Actually, TWO pipes have broken. WSSC has shut off all water to your street.
And finally…
3. There has been a serious break of two pipes. WSSC has shut down water to the entire property until the repairs are completed.
And, who the hell knows when that will be? Guess I go buy some more bottled water in the ayem. For now, I’m just really, really glad I have a bottle of water for the brushing o’ the teeth tonight.
So, in advance, I would like to offer apologies to anyone with whom I have to interact tomorrow. If I look a little disheveled, you can thank the crappy pipes down the street.
Grrrr.
*For the record, steamy sex and a pile of money are ALSO things I cannot have tonight. The foot massage, I could do with the nifty Sharper Image back massager from hell that some friends gave me, but now that my mind is wrapped around a hot shower, the foot massage won’t do it…
Skankiween October 21, 2007
Posted by merujo in Halloween, back pain, unintentional (I hope) Internet crassness.3 comments
My back is killing me right now, which is why you haven’t seen squat from me lately. Give me a few days to feel better, and I’ll be more in the mood to write. Meanwhile, I found a link on Fark to an article decrying the increasing skank level of Halloween costumes for young girls. Fortunately, the handful of young kiddos who show up at my door in recent years all tend to go the angel & fairy princess routes, so I haven’t had to witness the skanktasm. And thus, I don’t have to be depressed about the continuing decline of one of my favorite holidays.
However, this post really has nothing to do with that story itself. It’s about the ad image that popped up, embedded in the article about scantily clad tweenie Halloweenies, next to a paragraph that opens with ” Women’s costumes are pervasively provocative…” In case the ad changes by the time you click the link, I’m posting it below:
The, uh, beaver screen shot…
Almost time for more pain killers. Whoo-hoo. Lemme just say this – if they continue to find new fractures in my spine, I’m gonna scream.
Chill October 12, 2007
Posted by merujo in back pain, better living through chemistry, cold snap, friends doing really well.3 comments
Tonight is the first night I’ve felt cold so far this season. I’m about to brush my teeth, wrap up in warm fuzzy jammies and hit the sack. It’s supposed to get down to the 40s tonight. Brrrrrrr!
More x-rays tomorrow morning. Oh, the excitement never ends! Had to get the new car inspected today, and while some brake work was being done, I hobbled to the office via the Metro. Just that short walk back and forth between the station and work killed me. Spasm central tonight (although no tears, I’m glad to say.) I’m swathed in a layer of Thera-gesic pain relieving creme and slightly numbed with a couple of pain pills. Here’s hoping for good sleep in the chilly night air!
Hey — on a totally different – and much more entertaining – topic, I’ve failed to offer up congratulations here to Javi for the fact that his funky cool comicbook series The Middleman has been picked up as a live-action TV pilot by ABC Family! How freaking fabulous is that, eh? Can’t wait for the day when I can hunker down in front of my Sony Trinitron (I’ll even dust it for the occasion) and see the Middleman and Wendy and Co., live on my screen!
Damn fine work, Javier! Looking forward to seeing this baby!! And that’s not just the handful of Ultracet talking!
On a less annoyed point about things vehicular… October 8, 2007
Posted by merujo in back pain, global warming, the Crapmobile, weather.9 comments
I have a car again. Hooray!
Le Crapmobile est mort! Vive le Crapmobile!
The new guy is a Wedgewood-ish/periwinkle-y blue ‘99 Taurus sedan. It’s a boat compared to the Crapmobile Mark I, but, as the Sasquatch would say, it puts more steel between me and the next cell phone idiot who might hit me. The Crapmobile Mark II comes pre-dinged and with a handful of scratches and a couple of “Union Guys for Kerry” stickers. One of the Kerry doodads will get covered over with my neighborhood’s parking pass sticker and the other which will get covered over with a nice set of WASP wings, if I can find my remaining supply from the last reunion I went to with Mom. Either that, or a nice Fifi bumper sticker.
I have to go in for x-rays today. My lower back and neck are still killing me. Last night I finally got to sleep around midnight, but then woke up with stabbing pain around 2, and that was it. I was up, watching Adult Swim for two hours. In retrospect, I should have picked up a book, but I was being lazy.
I realize that, over time, my mind has become very lazy in my off-work hours. I need to start nourishing my starving brain. It’s time to get a new library card. I want to read An Arsonist’s Guide to Writers’ Homes in New England. Sounds like a good way to spend an autumn weekend.
Of course, considering that it’s hotter than Hell and steamier than a jungle in Cambodia right now, who would guess it’s actually autumn here? I found myself muttering “global warming, global warming” yesterday as I sweat like a pig cleaning out the new Crapmobile. Note to self for future reference: always vacuum out the crushed pile of potato chips from the trunk of car before selling it. Yuck! (Although I did find Irish coins under the potato chips. Strange, but cool.)
At least I wasn’t running the Chicago Marathon, eh? Not that I’m *ever* planning to run a marathon, but still. Holy crap! 88 degrees, humidity beyond belief, one runner dead, and 300+ hospitalized? WTF?
Somewhere, Al Gore is drinking a mint julep on a shaded porch, saying, “I told you so.”
The Loathesome Hunt for a New (well, very used, actually) Car October 5, 2007
Posted by merujo in back pain, car accidents, general suckage, the Crapmobile, the Sasquatch.2 comments
Being without a car sucks. Hunting for a car sucks. Hunting for a car in the $3K range that is driveable, comfortable and isn’t falling apart or covered in sticky nicotine stains and cigarette burn holes REALLY sucks.
The Sasquatch would like to see me in a car that wraps a little more steel around me than the Crapmobile did, wee thing that it was. After this accident (and the tremendous pain I’m experiencing), I agree with him. Back spasms that suddenly make you weep like a baby? They suck even more than hunting for a damn car.
Grrrrrrrr.
Baby steps May 19, 2007
Posted by merujo in Mutha Russia, back pain, death, hookers, writing.4 comments
Well, kids, I’ve written the outline for my book. Each chapter is a different city in the former Soviet Union. It’s funny – in writing the outline and having to remember things that happened in each place, I’ve managed to dredge up so much stuff I’d forgotten had happened. I’m a little frightened by the number of times that death, cannibalism, space aliens and hookers come up in my experiences. Seriously. Lots of death and hookers.
(And now I’ll start getting lots of Google search hits for “dead hookers.” Grrrreat.)
I don’t know how long this will take me to write. Today, for the first time in a very long time, I’m sitting at Mayorga, typing away. My back still hurts, so I tend to fidget a lot in my chair, but I need the white noise of the cafe to keep me focused. Last night, I had major twingy pain in my back and leg which left me gasping for breaths at Borders, hobbling around with the Sasquatch. (I had a 30% off coupon and the desire to find a text to help me organize the writing process. Such a book does not seem to exist – at least not in the form I sought. I found the best advice on some Ask.com subpage today. More or less, it said, “If you’ve written a college paper, you know how to write an outline. So, write the outline and get goin’!”) I got home, popped one of the Vicodin I’ve been hording since I fell, and BAM – I was asleep in minutes. Slept the deep sleep of babies and rocks, but had near hallucinatory dreams all night. Wish I could remember them today. All I can tell you is that they were twisted. Truly twisted. But I woke up this morning refreshed and ready to rock and roll with the words.
So, here I am. Outline complete. Next step? Get goin’. I’ll start where it all started, just like many maudlin, overwrought pieces of literature – in Moscow…
Long way to go, folks. Long way to go.
Eeek.
