Jag-off March 9, 2008
Posted by Merujo in bad behavior, CVS, people suck, sex, stupidity, the Hellmouth, troubled people, welcome to Bethesda.5 comments
Thursday night, I stopped by the CVS in downtown Bethesda to pick up a box of Nice & Easy 114, the current (non-freaky red) cheap hair color of choice. I snagged a parking space next to the two handicapped spots and went in. As I scanned small boxes for the right color, I overheard snippets of a loud conversation between a couple perusing the Easter candy aisle.
“But do you think he’s really handicapped?”
“It’s just wrong.”
“Yeah, no shit! Nice car, though…”
I assumed someone with no handicapped plates had pulled into one of the few designated spots at the pharmacy. Wouldn’t be the first time that had happened here in the land of entitlement. I thought nothing of it and paid for my box of chemicals.
When I got to my car, I saw there was a very spiffy Jaguar parked next to me, occupying a handicapped spot. Indeed, there was a handicapped tag hanging from the rear view mirror. An older gentleman sat behind the wheel, the driver’s door open. He had one leg stretched out the door, and, though I tried not to look, I could not help but see he had a serious palsy in one arm.
Or so I thought.
As I did the “healing spine sideways shimmy” to get into the Crapmobile Mark II, I got a better look.
Nope. No palsy.
The guy was going to town, whacking his willy in his fancy-schmantzy car. Polishing the wood. Beating his well-aged meat. Wanking with abandon.
I could not help it. I just stared, my jaw scraping the ground.
The onanistic Jag-ster finally noticed he had an audience and tried to stuff his member back in his trousers and get his leg back in his car. People, this parking space is directly under a big light right on a busy section of Wisconsin – there is no way you can masturbate in your luxury car a few feet from the entrance of this CVS and NOT be seen.
For once, I didn’t say anything. I was just astounded and drove off, shaking my head. I know being affluent is no guarantee of having common sense, but there clearly had to be something wrong with this dude. At least I understood the conversation of the candy aisle couple.
What the hell is the problem with this CVS? Is it a second Pike Hellmouth, like the 7-11 by White Flint? I’m starting to think so. And I think I’ll start using Purell after touching any products in this particular CVS location…
Yes, old people hate me, too February 18, 2008
Posted by Merujo in age, bad behavior, decency, morality, self-respect, shame, speaking out, WWII.11 comments
Today I stopped briefly at a Dunkin Donuts to grab a cup of coffee. Yes, it’s true, sometimes I’m unfaithful to my regular coffee buzz at Mayorga. This time, DD was right there and I had a splitting headache. Since the car accident, I’ve found that on days when my back is really killing me, I end up with brain thumping headaches that near migraine pain levels. They come on suddenly and with accompanying nausea to beat the band. Fortunately, I’ve discovered that a cup of coffee will quell at least a measure of the nastiness.
As I walked in, I noticed there was a motley group of eight or nine people – mostly men – in their 70s and 80s at one table and a pair of oldsters at another table. As I hobbled up to the register, the motley guys started to discuss me:
“Who’d wanna date that fatass?”
“Is she yer girlfriend, Bob?”
“Oh hell, not a chance!”
“Heh, she’s my girlfriend, hahahah – just imagine screwing that!”
“Oh god, I’d get lost in the fat, haw haw haw!”
Ooh, y’all just stepped on the toes of the wrong fat chick.
While my coffee was being poured, I turned around to the table and stared at them. They went silent, like children who had just been caught with their hand so deep in the cookie jar it would take a hammer to break ’em out.
At full conversational level I addressed them:
“You know, just because I’m fat doesn’t mean I’m deaf, and just because you’re old doesn’t mean you get a pass for being rude.”
Several heads were bowed. Again, like children, caught.
The one woman in the group shrilly yelled, “I’m sorry, but we’re old!”
I shook my head at them and said, “Oh, come on!”
One man quietly muttered, “I’m sorry.” But no one said anything else.
I got my coffee and started to leave, but then, I stopped. I went over to their table and angrily spoke to them again. “You know, my mother was a veteran of the Second World War – she would be your age if she was still alive. And you know what? In her later years – to her dying day – she never believed that age gave you a right to be rude. And she never used her age as an excuse to say crap to anyone on the basis of their appearance. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
The other table of oldsters had been staring at them coldly throughout their mocking bullshit, and they continued to stare at them as I left.
When the clerk handed me my coffee, she told me they’d called her “white trash” earlier and she thanked me for having said something to them.
Look, I know there are cultures that respect older people simply for being old. I’ve worked in some of those cultures in Central Asia. And, when I’m there, I play by the local rules.
I’m not there now.
Here’s my deal: whenever possible, I grant courtesy to the elderly. My heart aches when I see people dealing with the difficulties of age. I used to cry in Moscow when I saw grandmothers the age of my own mother, trying to survive by selling anything they could out on the street. Absolutely broke my heart.
But, respect? Now, respect is something I grant when warranted. There are plenty of lovely old people in this world. There are plenty of lovely young people in this world. There are plenty of lovely old and young people living good lives, doing good things, being good people. However, there are also a lot of arrested-development asshole-ish old and young people in this world. And frankly, I don’t really care if you’re twenty or fifty or eighty, you don’t get my respect if you mock me (or call the clerk at the donut shop “white trash” for that matter.)
On the other hand, I’ll show you what self-respect is about, buster. If you fought in World War II, you sure as hell know what standing up for decency is about. And being indecent to a stranger makes you look a complete fool.
And my mom will be waiting on the other side to kick yer ass.
Grrr!
Fiercely yours,
Merujo
Church of the Big Sky 